Building the Blocks: Ensuring Kids Are Happy and Healing After Divorce

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The process of divorce brings out so many different stresses. It’s important for parents to adopt a more positive mindset during the divorce process, but it’s not just for the sake of them of course. When it comes to raising children through a divorce, and even after the divorce, it is important to focus on helping your children build those relevant blocks. Quite often, parents who do their research on divorce and how to cope, such as by reading blogs like those on petersmay.com, have a stronger idea on how to keep their children in a positive environment. So, what does it take to help your children be happier after divorce? 

Explain, but Do Not Sugar Coat

It’s important to be age-appropriate, but you will need to explain the divorce to your children. While it’s not necessary to get into the nitty-gritty, whether solicitors are causing hold-ups, or there’s a lot of red tape, the important thing for you to remember is not to speak out of turn, and trash talk the other person. You need to explain in a very clear, and more importantly, blameless manner, so the children will know that whatever happens, there is still a family. 

Remember the Importance of Routine

Your children will need a lot of stability during this time, but they also need to feel that the attachment to both parents is still there. It is so crucial for you to come up with a parenting plan to guarantee that your children have the same access to both of you, as long as your children feel safe with both parents. Divorce can be a hard process due to the raw feelings involved, but there has been research to show that joint parenting can reduce conflict between the parents, and help the children develop more healthily.

Do Not Make Hasty Changes Too Soon

You may feel that you’ve got to move on, and this is why you may very well feel like you need to get a new partner or start to play the dating game. But when it comes to your children, make sure that this new partner is going to be a permanent fixture before you introduce them to the children, because this could cause more issues if you break up, and your children could believe that intimate partnerships are always doing to fail, which will tarnish their opinion of relationships as they grow up. You should also avoid moving so soon, as these changes can cause problems with the healing process, and can impact your children’s abilities to deal with the process.

Do Not Try to Erase the Past

Many parents feel that because they went through a bad time during the divorce, that they’ve got to start compartmentalizing, which means that you could start to overcompensate by giving your children more things, such as presents and treats. But for the healing process to begin, you’ve got to accept and address what has happened. This doesn’t mean that you should not whisk your children away to Disneyland, but you have to think about how it would reflect on the other parent. Besides, there are plenty of free days out and experiences you can have with the children, but also use it as an opportunity to heal. 

It’s not an easy thing to ensure that your children are happy, but remember, it’s not necessarily about them being happy, but about building the blocks to instigate the healing process.

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