It was the 9th of October 2013 when I found out I was going to be a first-time mother I was filled with a sense that it wasn’t real was it shock was it dread who knows. The strangest part was Liam told me I was pregnant how could he tell and I couldn’t. So we did the obvious and bought a pregnancy test nervous but very excited yet terrified at the same time. This brings me to the first thing people don’t tell you pregnancy test are very expensive at this point in my life id never bought one or needed too but I had seen a clear blue advert on TV so that what we went for at a pricey £10 for a single test.

Then comes the first scan you feel so many emotions mine was mainly shocked i recall saying to Liam shes in there which is strange considering the positive pregnancy test.  Throughout the rest of my pregnancy it was magical ….. apart from the horrific birth story’s people would tell you which I’m pretty sure they think it is hilarious but as a first-time mum I was terrified.  Then there is the not sleeping because you need to pee all night making you super happy and not at all an expectant mother. Then to top that off you might get spd ( Symphysis pubis dysfunction) which is even more fun than all the horror stories. When your really “LUCKY” like I was you’ll be 2 weeks overdue sick of all things pregnancy and you so ready for your beautiful baby to arrive you get a lovely stretch and sweep if you don’t know what that is yippee for you wish I didn’t work for me at all. I tried everything to bring on my labour but it took 3 sweeps, very hot curry and a very bumpy car ride not sure what worked. Then my waters broke in my sleep wasn’t too bad but wasn’t sure if it just wet the bed did anyone tell you that the pressure of pregnancy makes that even more possible good luck after too when you sneeze if you don’t clench you might get a not so nice surprise.

Now for the birth, the easy part of my story happened so fast my body went in to shock 30 min of active labour had about 10 contractions when she was out. I  pushed too soon because midwife didn’t expect Emily to come so fast and was busy doing the paperwork about 6 minutes after Liam parked Emily was born and strangely I don’t recall much pain but don’t really know what was going on either abit of a messy but magical blur.

The very first time I held Emily in my arms she did a massive poo on me hows that for an introduction.  *warning gross bit coming after the next star* I didn’t get along with her because id managed to get 3rd degree tear which I’m told is bad I was carted off to have a lot of stitches, I ended up in a cold theatre with a whole room of people looking at my privates dignity is well and truly out the window at this point and to be frank I didn’t give a flying F**k I just created life.  I’m led there with this bright light shining right in my face and all I can think is ffs I can’t stop shaking the nurse told me it was because I had lost a lot of blood they would take me for something soon a whole hour later that felt like a lifetime.

When was finally taken back to be reunited my terrified looking Liam they had told him id be gone for 10 mins and left him with a crying hungry baby all alone GREAT start to parenthood he thought I was dead because there was so much blood. The best part for us was the happy healthy baby girl at a whopping 8 pound 8 ounces no wonder I needed stitches YIKES (i thought she was bad wait till you hear about her brother).  When they moved me to the ward I was still shaking and just wanted to go home but nope thanks to the catheter and the amount of blood I lost had to stay. I spent most of my time in hospital feeding emily changing her staring at her so long my eyes were dry but that could have been the tears of happiness that kept coming.  Then the food cravings came  so when visitor asked to come both myself and Liam were like yes please bring food meaning subway or some other substance that would fill us up and they brought chocolate and crisps yummy but never been so disappointed in my life ( moral of this part of the story pack some food pot noodles or those john west steam pots you just add hot water).  After a  night of no sleep worrying someone would steal Emily I was allowed to go home thank god. I needed my bed. However, the bag of meds I had to take home was surprising who knew you need a jab (to stop blood clots self administer eek), pain killers and who knew the heartburn would stay after the baby was born not me.

When we got home all the family were there to greet us was very lovely but part of me wanted to be selfish and see them a few days after the birth (which is okay to feel that way your baby your rules) let it all settle down. It was lovely to see how much love there was for her when everyone had met her and had a cuddle. Liams wonderful nan sent us down a cottage pie which was the first proper meal we had in days and was like feeding time at the zoo haha (batch cook and freeze meals before giving birth will help so much post ).

Healing after the birth didn’t take long I did have to sit on a rubber ring for a few days and having a wee was eye-watering, to say the least. There are lots of appointments and visitors and to be honest, the first week is a bit crazy but once you get into a routine everything gets back to normal the adventure really starts a fun filled magical journey you forget all the mayhem.  Before you know it your daughter is nearly five and she has a brother called Harrison (9 pounds 5 who knew the second could be bigger again not me).  and I think we’re crazy enough to consider having a third. Being a parent it is so worth it a few days/weeks/months of pain for a lifetime of happiness some times it’ll be hard and you’ll be tired and at times ruin someones day by giving them the wrong cup but its all part of the fun <3

thanks for reading  x